A Different Perspective Can Make All the Difference

Most of us are creatures of habit. That’s one big reason the principles of influence are so effective at helping you hear “Yes!” when making requests of others. We cruise along on autopilot most of the time painstakingly doing whatever we can to avoid thinking.

One automatic thing most adults do every day is drive to work. I’ve heard people say sometimes they get in the car and before they know it they’re at work. The scary thing is they don’t remember anything about the drive! As fate would have it, I don’t have that luxury till the end of May or beginning of June, depending on how efficient the Ohio Department of Transportation is at completing some highway repairs in downtown Columbus. During the repairs I have to find a new way into work.

Is this a pain? Somewhat, because I have to leave earlier than normal, take a different route and contend with many other drivers doing the same thing. But it’s not all bad. I was convicted by my own words because each morning I tell myself, “This is the day the Lord has made so I will be happy and rejoice in it. Today will be a good day because I will approach everything with a positive attitude and I will learn from every situation.”

So I made the choice to be positive and to learn something. As I drove one day I decided not to just follow the same alternate route so I got off at an exit I’d never used in 20 years of working downtown. What struck me as I got off the highway was how completely different the city looked from this new vantage point. I was faced with some old, very cool looking buildings when I came to the stop sign. As I turned left I saw what looked like an old warehouse building and found myself wondering what went on in that building over the years. Then I turned left and drove below an overpass and saw Columbus State Community College from an angle I’d never seen it from before. As all of this was occurring I thought, “This is really cool scenery. I’d enjoy it if I saw these sites every day.” I was also struck by how different everything was so I decided I’d write about it.

What does this mean for you when it comes to influence? Sometimes trying to gain someone else’s perspective can go a long way when it comes to influence. As I pondered this I thought about the election of Barack Obama. Please don’t comment on politics because what I’m about to share has nothing to do with politics. For whatever reason, the drive in and thinking about perspective brought me back to the day after the election. That day I emailed my best friend Russell Barrow, an African-American, and simply asked, “Did you ever think you’d see this in your lifetime?” I got an incredibly heartfelt reply back telling me how much pride he felt. I tried to put myself in his shoes and as I did I saw things differently. I really believe if more people would do that rather than simply retain their perspective and defend their position more dialog would happen and more things could get accomplished.

Imagine I’m holding up my right hand with my palm towards me and finger nails towards you. If someone asked us to describe what we see our descriptions would be very different. I’d say my thumb is on my right but you’d say it’s on your left. I’d describe finger prints while you talked about finger nails. I’d comment on the lines in my palm and you’d be talking about the veins and hair you see on the back of my hand. These are two very different descriptions that could lead to some disputes. However, if we changed our perspectives we get a more complete picture and can find things to agree on. The more you and I find to agree on the easier it becomes to find mutually beneficial solutions to more pressing issues.

Some of you may say this is this a bit simplistic and I’d agree. But I’d contend that life’s not always as complicated as we might think it is. Spouses could use some simplicity – just love each other, do what’s in the best interest of the other person and trust they’ll do the same. Parents would do well do just tell their kids how much they love them and to set aside their priorities to spend time with kids. At work, just do your best, quit grumbling but also give honest feedback when necessary. Yea, it’s all simple stuff but simple stuff that could make life a whole lot easier and nicer for so many of us.

So here’s the take away – try to change your perspective on something or someone after you read this. Make yourself see things in a new, fresh way and see how that impacts your thoughts, attitude and conversations. If you do this I think others will sense it, appreciate it and open up to you.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

The First Anniversary of Influence PEOPLE

It was just over a year ago, April 17 to be exact, that I started this blog. I still remember talking with my friend George Black about social media and he mentioned the eblogger tool. As we continued to talk I clicked on the eblogger icon and all of a sudden I’d taken the first step of this journey.

In that first post I wrote, “I’m passionate about influence and persuasion so it’s only natural that I share that passion with all of you.” I’ve only grown more passionate about it over the past year and have expanded how I communicate that passion. Some of you might see my Twitter or Facebook updates. I recently started a Facebook fan page call Influence PEOPLE. I also host a LinkedIn group called … Influence PEOPLE. If that’s not enough, daily I record influence tips at CinchCast. One goal for 2010 is to start doing some video blog posts but for now all these other social media tools are keeping me quite busy!

By every measure this first year has exceeded my wildest expectations, and then some. In a year’s time people in more than 100 countries have taken time to read what I write! That statistic excites me more than any other because it makes me feel like I’m having an impact on the world. Here are the countries where people have clicked in from:

Antigua & Barbuda, Argentina, Armenia, Australia, Austria, Bahamas, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Barbados, Belgium, Bermuda, Bolivia, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Botswana, Brazil, Brunei, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Canada, Chile, Colombia, Croatia, Czech Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Egypt, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Ghana, Greece, Honduras, Hong Kong, Hungary, Iceland, India, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jersey, Jordan, Kenya, Kuwait, Laos, Latvia, Lebanon, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malaysia, Mauritius, Mexico, Moldova, Morocco, Myanmar [Burma], Netherlands, New Zealand, Nigeria, Norway, Pakistan, Palestinian Territories, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Romania, Russia, Saint Lucia, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Serbia, Singapore, Slovakia, Slovenia, South Africa, South Korea, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Tanzania, Thailand, Trinidad & Tobago, Turkey, U.S. Virgin Islands, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom, United States, Venezuela, Vietnam, Yemen and Zimbabwe.

Speaking of the world, I can’t leave out Sean Patrick, Marco Germani, Yago de Marta and Hoh Kim. These guys have generously volunteered to help you get a worldwide perspective on influence and my relationships with them are primarily because of this blog. You'll want to check out the Influencers from Around the World articles they'll be sharing on the first Monday of every month.

And here are a few locals who’ve been tremendously helpful. I mentioned George Black in the opening paragraph, a terrific person. There’s also Mike Figliuolo who’s been my “go to” guy for any blogging questions I’ve had. By allowing me to write some guest posts for his blog, thoughtLEADERS, and writing some for Influence PEOPLE, Mike really helped me build my readership. And thanks to Micheal Franzese for the cool drawings you see sometimes. Take a look at his blog FranzeseInklings for more art work.

Then there are my friends on Twitter who retweet my stuff consistently: James Sims, Marcy Depew, Matt Fox, Kennon Fort, Maureen Metcalf, Anthony Iannarino, Paul Hebert, Aaron Schaub, Steve Miller , Warren Davies and Jon Wortman. If I left anyone off the list I apologize (I’m starting to sound like I won an Oscar!) If you want to follow any of them on Twitter just click on their name.

Special thanks also need to go to several coworkers. First there’s Debbie Conkel who has proofread my work for about 15 years now. She looks over every one of these articles for me. Then there’s my boss John Petrucci who’s has been supportive in every way imaginable. Last but not least, there’s Nancy Edwards who encourages me every time we talk or email.

And there’s feedback from readers. When I see comments posted or get emails like the ones below it makes my day!

• “I really liked the post you made for this week. It really hit home with me since I too have a teenager at home and have gone thru the same scenarios. I will be sharing this with other parents and will be practicing myself to be a good example for him.”
• “Brian, I continue to value your posts. I started taking your advice several years ago and open an appointment first thing each morning to review the Dale Carnegie principle of the day.”
• “The best thing I ever did was sign up for your emails. Yes it takes me from my daily work but it normally brings a smile to my face or a little giggle, and we all need that!”
• “I value you as an expert. Your advice has me constantly thinking outside the box. There is validity to your stories that you share. As a Product Sales Specialist I have implemented some of your advice which resulted in a positive outcome.”

Now this anniversary wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t thank the most important people; my wife, Jane, and daughter, Abigail. I write about them quite a bit and they’re great sports, especially Jane because I posted her photo in a bathing suit once. She emailed to tell me that wasn’t a good thing to do and I replied that I was just happy she was reading the blog!

So from me to all of you, thank you for taking the time to read and for allowing me to have some influence on your lives. I hope I enjoy this second year even more than the first and that you get even more from your time with me.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

BlogTalkRadio Interview on the Principles of Influence

Have you ever had the sense you were right where you were supposed to be doing exactly what you were meant to do? Some people refer to it as hitting your stride, being in the flow or self-actualization. Whatever term you use to describe it, that's where I was last Wednesday at noon and I'm honored that I have the chance to share that wonderful experience with all of you.

Many of you know I was interviewed on BlogTalkRadio, the guest of the group Inside Influencers. I'm thankful I was given this opportunity by Paul Hebert, Managing Director of I2I, a validation and incentive planning/consulting company. Paul is also the author of the blog Incentive Intelligence. He's had a keen interest in the psychology of persuasion ever since we met back in the summer of 2004 when Dr. Robert Cialdini was the guest speaker at State Auto. Through chance, or perhaps fate, Paul and I reconnected when he found me on the Internet because of Influence PEOPLE.

The hour long discussion focused on the application of the Principles of Influence in everyday situations at work and home. We started off by touching on each of the six principles: reciprocity, liking, consensus, authority, consistency and scarcity. In addition we explored when are the best times to use each principle, the difference between influence and manipulation, and then we got into some real world application of the principles. If you'd like to hear the interview click here.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear "Yes!"

Influencers from Around the World - The Contrast Phenomenon

Several weeks ago I introduced Sean Patrick to readers in my Influencers from Around the World article. Because there are so many people in different countries reading Influence PEOPLE I thought it would be a good learning experience to hear from other trainers around the world and how they use the principles of influence. Sean jumped at the chance to help out so you'll be reading his thoughts on the contrast phenomenon.

Sean resides in Ireland and has his own sales training company, Sean Patrick Training, and writes a blog he calls Professional Persuader. We met through Facebook when I friended Sean after seeing him on Dr. Cialdini's friends list. Now we regularly exchange training ideas when we talk over Skype. Sean is a very interesting, entertaining guy and I think you'll enjoy what he has to share. Connect with him on Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear "Yes!"

The Contrast Phenomenon

I've been asked by Brian to write about an aspect of highly persuasive behavior. The aspect I want to share is a phenomenon in persuasion known as contrast. There are many psychological props we are all exposed to and they produce an almost automatic compliance when activated. These are known as “Click-Whirr” actions and responses. A “Click” can be denoted by the action, psychological principle, being played out while the “Whirr” is the automatic response produced as a result. These actions and responses are often unseen and undetected.

The contrast phenomenon is by now a well established tool which can be applied in different situations. It is also known as Perceptual Contrast or the Psychology of Perception.

Once upon a time in my own sales career I stumbled unknowingly across this psychological lever as if by complete accident. I was presenting – for the third time – to a prospect who was sitting on the fence about buying my proposition and I really wanted this guy to buy from me.

During my presentation we began discussing in detail the financial aspects to the proposal. To make a long story short, I began to delete line items from my proposal and as I was doing this I was explaining to the prospect what he stood to lose (a little scarcity) in terms of business benefits, and how the overall solution would be diminished if he lost these benefits. Not only that, but I explained how much more expensive it would be to buy these line items back at any point in the future because of the level of discount he was getting if he bought the package now.

To end this story, the prospect became a customer because the original price seemed to be less expensive than first perceived. Another plus – I sold more products which amplified the benefits of my core proposition even further. In the end price stopped being an issue because it was immediately replaced by value in his mind.

When I singled out the core product the benefits seemed great on their own merits, but when the customer realized how these benefits would be greatly enhanced by just having these ancillary products he was sold!

One of the great things we notice in utilizing the contrast phenomenon is the fact that it is practically invisible to the person we are influencing. This principle can affect the people we choose to socialize and associate with. It also affects how we view our role models because we can falsely determine the attractiveness of our mate either by distorting the physical attractiveness or a misplaced perception of social status.

On the business side, we can often make our products appear more or less expensive just by applying contrast intelligently. Not only that, we can put our problems and other people’s problems into a less problematic scenario by using this principle wisely.

Sean