One Small Step for a Supervisor, One Giant Leap for the Company

Many of you reading this have probably heard Neil Armstrong’s famous words when he stepped on the moon, “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” Several weeks ago at work I saw one small step for a supervisor and possibly one giant leap for our company.

If you’re in a position of leadership then you know you have to rely on others to accomplish your objectives. Increasingly we have to rely on others for their expertise because there’s simply too much to know and understand as man’s collective intelligence increases exponentially.

Quite often the seemingly little things are what end up making the difference. My boss likes to say, “Most companies don’t make million dollar mistakes, they make a million one dollar mistakes.” Not printing on both sides of the paper, not making the choice to email files rather than printing them, and wasting small amounts of money here and there can add up to millions of dollars over the long haul. When it comes to influence, small changes can make big differences too.

Several weeks ago a coworker named Jim emailed a number of people asking us to make a technical change to some websites we were responsible for. For various reasons there was a delay getting this taken care of immediately so I knew Jim was anxious to wrap it up when he contacted us a second time. When I got around to doing my part, I hit Reply All and emailed back, “Done. That was easy.” I know many of you detest people who hit Reply All but allow me to explain why I did this.

Jim’s a good guy who is as nice as they come and always helpful to me. Despite his good qualities I know when an IT guy asks non-IT folks to do something the non-IT people tend to drag their feet. Usually they do so because what they’re being asked to do is not a high priority for them and they might be unsure about exactly what to do. I hit the Reply All button to help Jim.

Jim replied directly to me to say thanks. I called him and asked if everyone had done their part and he said no, there was still one person he was waiting on. He said the email was probably buried in Joe’s inbox. I told Jim I had replied to everyone so he could take advantage of consensus, the principle of influence that tells us people look to many others, or similar others, when deciding what to do. This principle is sometimes called social proof. When talking to our kids we call it peer pressure and for students in college it might be known as beer pressure on the weekends.

You see, I had a hunch if someone who’d not done their part saw most others had completed their work they’d feel the pull of the group and do so as well. My advice to Jim was to reply back to my email, including all of us, to say thanks to all those who had done their part. He took the advice and here’s what he wrote:

“Thanks again! I have heard from everyone but Joe. Joe, do you know when you can complete this update? I would like to wrap up this project by the end of the day.”

Within seven minutes Joe replied to let us all know he could be numbered among those who’d completed the task! This may not be a big deal to you but it sure was for Jim because that’s one more item he can put to bed allowing him to move on to the next task. And I bet if it was you, you’d be pretty happy too.

Will this be the difference between growth or no growth for my company? Nope. The difference between profit or unprofitability? Nope. But, imagine every supervisor and manager taking this subtle approach every day, five days a week, 52 weeks a year. That’s a lot of days cut off of projects; and more projects completed giving time for new initiatives to begin.

And this might be the best news for you business owners or those in charge of budgets – it cost nothing! All this took was an understanding of the principles of influence, eyes open to opportunities (they’re everywhere!) and a little creative application to a very routine way of communicating.

So here’s my challenge for readers this week; look at what you do and pause for just a moment to consider how you might ethically employ the power of the crowd, consensus, to move people to do what needs to be done. A few days here, a few days there, and it's one more project off your list for the week which could add up to good things for you and your company.

Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

I was so mad I could have spit!

Not too long ago I was so mad I could’ve spit! I really lost my cool and that actually bothered me more than the situation that got me so upset in the first place. They say real wisdom is learning from other’s mistakes so hopefully you’ll be a little wiser having read this.

Let’s back up to the situation and start from there. It was really no big deal, a dead car battery in Jane’s SUV. Fortunately it was parked at the house and not somewhere on the road so I tried to jump it but had no luck. AAA came out and got the car started but as soon as we turned it off it was totally dead again. They started the car one more time and we let it run for quite some time to charge the battery a little. Trying to be the dutiful husband I told Jane I’d drive her car to Advanced Auto Parts to get the new battery installed while she worked on dinner.

As I drove away from the house I had one thought in mind – don’t stall the car because I won’t be able to start it again. Like most men I thought I knew where I was going but I ended up at the NAPA store, not Advanced Auto Parts. That wouldn’t have been so bad except NAPA was closed. So much for my memory and assurance to Jane that I knew where I was going!

When I realized my dilemma I called Jane because we’d looked up the store phone number on the internet so I knew she could easily pull it up and tell me where to go. As she was telling me I started backing out of the NAPA lot and stalled the car! To make matters worse it started to thunder and lightning. So there I am, having done exactly what I tried not to do – stall the car! Because the battery was dead there was no air conditioning and I knew I’d have to wait an hour or so before AAA would come. Great!

While all of this was happening and curses were flying out of my mouth Jane was still on the phone. I wasn’t mildly upset, I was totally pissed off. I used to have a really bad temper and it’s gotten much better over the years but every now and then it still raises its ugly head. While it’s usually directed at myself for making some kind of mistake it’s not pretty to be around. It’s a part of me that I really, really dislike.

I usually start my day with this phrase, “This is the day the Lord has made so I will be glad and rejoice in it. Today will be a good day because I will approach everything with a positive attitude and I’ll learn from every situation.” Well, my attitude wasn’t so positive there in the NAPA parking lot but I’m learning from it and, as I said in the opening, I hope you do too.

Here was my big mistake – I focused on what I didn’t want to have happen which was stalling the car. I can’t remember the last time I stalled the car but as I left the house “don’t stall” was front and center on my mind. I should know better because I teach about this in sales courses.

Have you ever seen the television show Frazier? If you have then maybe you recall the episode where Frazier and Niles tried to learn to ride bikes. Frazier struggled because every time he didn’t want to run into something he kept his eye on it thinking that would help him avoid the obstacle but as you might guess, he’d always run into whatever he kept his eye on! He focused on what he didn’t want to do and that’s what he ended up doing. Frazier’s dilemma is a picture of what occurs in our brains when we think “don’t…”

You see, the brain doesn’t process the “don’t” in a statement but it does picture the object. For example, if I tell you, “Don’t think about elephants,” you will think about elephants, at least momentarily. Crazy as it sounds, the more you try not to think about elephants the more you usually do.

To prove my point I often ask golfers in my training sessions, “What do you think when you come to a hole with water?” The typical response is, “Don’t go in the water.” When I ask what happens most of the time people laugh and acknowledge they often end up in the water. Why does that happen? Because the water is what they’re focused on even though it’s prefaced with “don’t.”

So what’s a person to do? Very simple, you need to focus on what you want to happen. For me that would be easy on the golf course but unfortunately in the scenario I found myself in I was blind to my own teaching. In a way I was like the accountant who forgets to balance his check book, the investment guy who’s not saving enough for his own retirement or the doctor who “occasionally” over-eats. I failed to take my own good advice.

I think a couple of good things will come from this. First, because the situation was so emotional for me I’ll probably catch myself before I make the same mistake again. The other good outcome might be you remembering my story next time you have to make a decision and your choices are “what to do” or “what to not do.” Take it from me, focus on what you want and leave it at that. Doing so might just save you a big headache and a lot of time.

Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

You’re Getting Sleepy, Very Sleepy…

I had lunch recently for the second time with a real live hypnotist, Bill Gladwell. Neither of us could quite remember how we met on Facebook but we did and Bill was kind enough to reach out to me to have lunch. You might be wondering if he hypnotized me; I don’t think so but I did pick up the tab the first time we met. In my defense, I’d planned to do that ahead of time because he made a 30-minute drive to meet me in downtown Columbus.

I’m really glad we hooked up because Bill is a neat guy with fascinating story. As we talked I was interested to learn a little about hypnosis and what he does with his understanding of psychology. I was surprised at how much crossover there was between what he does and the influence training I do.

Here’s an example where influence and hypnosis are very similar. Bill talked a lot about creating the right environment for hypnosis and in one of his videos he explained how we go into hypnotic states all the time without realizing it. If you want a familiar scenario consider this; have you ever drove to work, got there then realized you didn’t remember much, if anything about the drive? You were on “autopilot” and mindlessly made your way into work. It’s similar to the “click whir” phenomenon Dr. Robert Cialdini talks about in the opening of Influence Science and Practice.

As I’ve mentioned numerous times in this blog, it’s not what you do in the moment of persuasion that’s most important, it’s what you do before that moment. In other words, how you set the stage or create the environment to give you the best chance to persuade is what’s usually most important in the persuasion process.

Play along with me here and be honest; if a total stranger asked you for your phone number and/or email would you give that information to them? I’m willing to bet everyone one of you read that and thought, “No way.” I know that’s what I’d say if you asked me that question. My conversation with Bill helped me realize that’s not necessarily true because the environment can change your response completely. Let me explain.

When I was out shopping for my mom’s birthday I went to Bath & Body Works because you can’t really go wrong there shopping for the ladies in your life. After being helped and gathering up several items I waited patiently in line to pay. When it was my turn I was told if I spent a little more I’d actually save money because of a promotion they were having so I grabbed one more small item. The young lady behind the counter proceeded to ring up my order then politely asked, “My I have your phone number?” I mindlessly blurted out the number then gave up my email when asked for that.

You and I both know stores don’t need that information to finalize the sale. If I’d given incorrect number or email they’d never know the difference. If I’d have said, “I prefer not to give out that information,” they would not have pushed the issue or denied making the sale. The real point is I didn’t do either and I bet the vast majority of you comply just like I did. We can’t pass off our actions because of authority because what authority does a young lady in her mid-20s have over the customer? I’d say very little to none.

It’s the environment that impacts our behavior along with social proof (a.k.a. consensus). We see and hear other customers giving up that information as we stand in line so it’s natural for us to follow along and do the same when it’s finally our turn to pay and we’re asked the same questions.

If you’re like me then you don’t want unwanted text messages or more junk email so next time you find yourself getting sleepy, very sleepy and are about to go into that mindless trance WAKE UP! Quickly ask yourself if what you’re being asked to do is what you really want to do. If you find yourself wrestling with that question then the answer is probably no and you should politely decline to do whatever is being asked. It could save you more than dealing with unwanted texts or email depending on what’s someone is trying to get you to do.

Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Once Upon A Time – A Good Twitter Lesson

Once upon a time – most good stories start this way and so does mine. I learned a good Twitter lesson not too long ago while trying to get the word out on my blog series about persuading people based on personality type. Beyond just sending some “tweets” about my articles I directly asked a number of people if they would help me.

When using Twitter you can send a direct message (DM) to people who follow you. To ask for help I sent direct messages to about two dozen people who I’d had some contact with beyond simply following them. In each case I’d had some direct messaging with every person and many of them had “retweeted” my stuff. A “retweet” (RT) is simply where someone on Twitter tells all their followers about something you did or wrote.

I have close to 1200 followers who can see my messages. Imagine if 24 followers each have about that many people following them and if they retweet, meaning all their follower can see a message, then all of a sudden instead of just 1200 getting the word potentially 28,000 have a chance to see what I wrote. As that example shows, Twitter can be a very powerful approach to communication.

Some of the trouble with social media is that it’s so new and there are many unwritten rules. The approach I took when I directly asked people if they’d help me out by retweeting my posts bothered one of my followers so he posted the following message to his 400+ followers:

@BrianAhearn Please don't DM me articles and then ask me to RT them. #tacky #unfollow

As you might imagine, #tacky was telling people what I did was tacky and the #unfollow was telling anyone who followed me that they shouldn’t any longer. Ouch!

He followed his own advice and stopped following me so I couldn’t send him a direct message to work it out. My choices were 1) let it go, 2) contact him by email or phone, or 3) work it out in the public space.

I chose the third option but before I did I called a friend whose opinions on social media I really respect. Not only did Paul Hebert give me good advice, it allowed me to get my emotions in check. I put the following message in the public arena:

@jml_bryant I was looking for help from folks who'd RT posts in the past. Wasn't trying to be tacky. You could have contacted to discuss? (Meaning = why didn’t you send me a direct message rather than air it in public)

Shortly I saw the follow on Twitter’s public space:

@BrianAhearn I'm of the school of thought that folks will RT what they think is interesting. Put the info out there & we'll find/spread it.

I thought, fair enough but I didn’t think I violated a rule by simply asking for help. I figure if anyone doesn’t like my stuff they don’t have to pass it along for further consumption. So I responded one more time:

@jml_bryant Appreciate the response. Please accept apology. I'm learning as I go like many others, didn't mean to offend. All good?

Now I was taking my own medicine. When you want to influence someone a good way to do so is by engaging the principle of authority. One aspect of authority is admitting weakness or a mistake to gain trust. I was hoping my apology would open a door and it did because here’s what I saw next:

@BrianAhearn Aren't we all still learning?! Your explanation helped me to understand your methods. Thanks for following up.

Then not too long after that tweet I noticed Justin was once again following me and he posted this message online:

Kudos to @BrianAhearn for communicating with me this morning when I didn't understand or appreciate his Twitter method.

In my eyes that last message in the public space was a classy move. Now that he was a follower again I sent him a direct message and invited him to coffee on me next time he was in Columbus. It so happened he had plans to be in town the following afternoon so we got together for a beer.

We talked about the exchange and he said he’s never done anything like that – public message over disagreement – before and I think we both learned a good lesson. Personally, I felt good about not giving in to my initial emotional reaction which was anger and because I found a way to make things right.

Even better, I made a friend. Justin Bryant turned out to be a really nice guy and we had much in common. He owns Think Design Studio where he does brand development. I told him we essentially did the same thing but in a different medium. I try to influence people primarily through words and he does so through design and marketing. He wants to start blogging so I shared some of my experience and invited him to write a guest post some time. You can find Justin on Twitter and LinkedIn. I encourage you to give him a look.

I think you can see it turned out well so I’ll close the way most good stories usually do – And all's well that ends well. The End

Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World - Selling to VITO

Several months ago I introduced Sean Patrick to readers in my Influencers from Around the World article. We're up to readers from more than 125 countries so I'm continuing with the theme of hearing from other trainers around the world about how they use the principles of influence.

Sean's a feisty Irishman who owns his own sales training company, Sean Patrick Training, and writes a blog, Professional Persuader. We met through Facebook because of Dr. Cialdini and we regularly chat over Skype. If certain things fall in place you might just see Sean in Columbus, Ohio in early October. Sean is a smart, funny guy and I know you'll enjoy his point of view from across the pond. Look him up on Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter.

Selling to VITO

All the way through my sales career in the IT world I've had to learn how to sell high. If this wasn't daunting enough I had to learn how to sell to C-level executives COLD. Whatever sales training I had attended throughout my career that had any meaning or left an indelible mark on me came from people I chose to go out and find, and pay to see with my own money.

I wasn't fortunate enough to have an understanding boss who considered sales training to be a service that more than paid for itself by an increased performance from the sales team. Nor did he view it as a chance to find and un-stick the sticking points. So my learning came from countless books, DVDs, and training courses that not only cost me financially but also in vacation time. Thankfully I usually ended up with just enough spare vacation time to go home for Christmas.

At one point in my career, still being somewhat of a whipper snapper, I came across this guy who sold in a very non-linear, very provocative way. He actually reminded me of one of the characters from the film Glengarry Glenross. This was the man that joined every selling dot together for me. From the initial mindset right through to putting the whole shebang together, I finally realized how natural and uncomplicated selling actually is. I don't believe it has changed right to this day.

This trainer was the man responsible for opening my eyes to how people comply naturally, easily and unconsciously. When people talk about judgmental heuristics I know what they mean because this guy taught me. This leads very nicely to my point – from that time onward I made the bold decision that if I was to rapidly increase my worth as a salesperson I had to innovate. It was time for a change; time for a major overhaul for Sean Patrick!

“Renew, Revitalize, Rejuvenate!” was my mantra and so I did. At every opportunity I began to put the new ideas into action. I began to pitch my ideas to CEOs, the Very Important Top Officer (VITO). Now sales managers in a lot of companies will do this blindly and really press their salespeople to call high. The first problem with the CEO is the fact that he or she will not entertain a salesperson for one massive reason – language and communication. The salesperson under duress will not know how to speak in the language of the CEO. On the other hand most salespeople would love to talk features and benefits in hopes that the CEO's ears will prick up and say, “I'm buying," but that’s not how CEOs think and operate.

Finally we have the other big problem – the personal assistant. The personal assistant, or “PA” as we call her on this side of the pond, is worth her weight in gold at keeping the unwashed outside…and for good reason too, as the CEO’s time is limited and therefore valuable. So there we have all the challenges in a nutshell. Now here's how to use the power of the authority and the liking principles to level the playing field...at least a little bit.

First of all the authority principle states that we are more likely to believe people in a position of higher power or knowledge that can lead us to a position of advantage or safety. If you want to sell to a CEO, then you have to behave and talk like a CEO. You have to get into their world and their way of thinking. Any CEO you approach is only going to be interested in what you can do to make their top job easier and add financial value for the company and shareholders.

The principle of authority allows us to take a look and notice the relevant symbols of authority; things such as title, clothing, and knowledge. You need to convey that you are an authority on what you know and the information you have is of vital importance to the CEO and this is a meeting he has to attend. All body language, language and behavioural patterns need to reinforce this belief or you will be exited to the front door where you belong. If however you find yourself selling to executives below CEO then act with your authority and beliefs about yourself and soon enough you will be greeted by the CEO.

The above principle of authority can be dramatically increased or enhanced when used in conjunction with liking, the principle whereby people prefer to say yes to individuals they know and like. This simple rule helps to understand how liking can create influence and how compliance professionals may emphasize certain factors and/or attributes to increase their overall attractiveness and subsequent effectiveness.

CEOs may be influenced by your authority and your ability to communicate at the senior level and these activate the principle of liking because you’ll appear similar to them. Combine these two the right way with confidence, act like a CEO and talk like one, and you’ll get the access you require. Then it’s up to you to make the sale.

Sean

I'm sure Sean would love to hear from you so feel free to leave a thought or question in the comments section.

Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.