A Good Way to Spend a day in November

This month’s guest post comes from South Korea’s Hoh Kim. I met Hoh in early 2008 when we went through the Cialdini Method Certified Trainer® training week together. In addition to his CMCT® Hoh also has his masters in communication from Marquette University. Find out more about Hoh by visiting his website, TheLab h, and his blog, Cool Communications. I encourage you to reach out to him on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT® 
Chief Influence Officer

influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

A good way to spend a day in November

In December 2012, the Harvard Business Review published an interesting article titled “Your Company's History as a Leadership Tool,” by John T. Seaman Jr. and George David Smith. In the article, there was a story about how Kraft Foods successfully managed “fierce resistance to the acquisition” from Cadbury's, a British confectioner.

Many employees of Cadbury worried about the loss of their long and valuable tradition. First of all, Kraft Foods respected the tradition of Cadbury, and started to look for what they had in common. Their research uncovered “similarities” in both companies in terms of their quality tradition, founding spirit of giving back to the communities, brand history, etc. They kept promoting the similarities via a new intranet they called “Coming Together.” They also used training sessions, speeches, press releases, and so on, and it proved quite effective in reducing the fear from Cadbury employees.

Earlier this year, I attended a presentation workshop in San Francisco. There was a slide indicating the 12 most persuasive words in the English language. 11 persuasive words from the number two through 12 were: Money, Save, New, Results, Health, Easy, Safety, Love, Discover, Proven, and Guarantee. What would be the number one? It was YOU.

The word YOU as the most persuasive word gives us pretty good insight and the Kraft Food case shows the lesson in action. Kraft first respected the Cadbury's tradition (YOU), and started to find what the two companies had in common which allowed them to start to building trust based on similarities - the principle of liking.

If Kraft Foods simply focused on its agenda without thinking much about Cadbury's tradition and concerns, the results surely would have been different. Stewart Diamond, author of Getting More, and a negotiation expert from the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania, says the other party at the negotiation table is the most important party, then comes you or me.

Another way to describe the importance of the other person comes from one of my favorite quotes from John C. Maxwell, “People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Let me change this quote a bit to a persuasion context – “People will not be influenced by you until they know how much you care about them.”

One of my friends who just joined a new firm asked me how he can increase his influential power within the company for years to come. As a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer®, my answer was simple – “Do not focus on you. Focus on others. The best way you can increase your long-term influence is to help others whenever it is possible and as much as possible. When someone asks you to help, that's an opportunity to increase your influential power. Help them. They will reciprocate sooner or later.”

As we approach year-end, here's a way you can apply the lesson during November. Fix a day in November when you don't have any appointments. Here’s what you need: 1) your calendar, whether it is a Google calendar or your diary, showing your schedule in 2013; 2) 20-30 thank you cards or nice blank paper; 3) your contact list. Review your schedule from January through October 2013 and list the top 20-30 people you want to thank. Write a brief, authentic letter to each and try to include a short story that shows why you’re truly thankful for each person. Show them that you sincerely care about them. That will make them feel nice and warm and they will again support and help you whenever they can moving forward.

Of course, what's more important is this: Every day or every week, even for five minutes, whenever you find someone you can truly help, approach them and help them. You might not get back the direct benefit of reciprocity, but, some of them will help others as they received help from you. That will make a world better place to live. Click here to watch a short video that exemplifies this.

Hoh

Hoh Kim

Founder, Head Coach & Lead Facilitator, THE LAB h

Address: THE LAB h, 15F. Kyobo Bldg. Jongno 1, Jongno,

Seoul 110-714, Korea

E-mail: hoh.kim@thelabh.com

Phone: 82-2-2010-8828

Web: www.THELABh.com